kids say the darnest things

so there's probably thousands of entries by ESL teachers all over the world with the same titled blog entry as mine, but hey, there are just some ridiculously funny stuff my students have been saying that i just have to share.

in my two weeks of visiting schools now, i've been to 3 junior highs and 6 elementary schools. by far, elementary schools are my favorite -- especially the super small schools of 30 people or so. the kids and teachers are so much like one big family... so different from my huge schools. i apparently teach at the largest elementary school and junior high in Tsushima. Izuhara Elementary School has 390 students while Izuhara Junior High has 234 students. Yeah, no so big compared to American standards or the mainland for that matter, but for Tsushima i guess those numbers are pretty big.

so now that you know where i'm coming from, without further ado, what random stuff my students have said to me:

- By now, I've figured that my predecessor has taught all the children of Izuhara 3 things super super well. They are 1) Hello, 2) Please, and 3) See you! Since i have so many schools, my first month of visiting schools is basically going to be my self-intro. However, since i have to do it for each class i go to for the first time, by now, I've figured out what i'm going to say so well that i just go into dummy mode and i dont even need to think anymore as i'm speaking. I've also figured out by now when to show my realia (postcards of SF, american money, a calendar of Stanford).

Whenever i hand out the SF postcards, all the kids tend to gather around wherever the postcards are circulating, and conversation tends to escalate to the point where no human could talk over everyone. Sooo, all i need to do now to get their attention as they're looking at the postcards is to just stand there and hold up my clear folder with american money taped inside. Within seconds, some kid will notice i'm holding money, who will immediate scream, causing everyone's attention to turn towards me, and eventually, the whole room is screeching and everyone's sitting up on their knees with their hands outstretch, opening and closing their hands, eyes bulging out at me, and shouting out, "Please! Please!!" This phenomenon has consistently occured between the grades of 2nd and 6th grade. Somehow, the 1st graders have yet to master "Please."

- In addition to the above story, one time, instead of yelling out "please" like everyone else was, one kid shouted out, "Thank you!" while opening and shutting his outstretched hand.

- At my junior high once, i was wandering through the halls during lunch, when one boy was walking away from me down the hall, but he turned around towards me as he was walking away and shouted out, "I'm fine, thank you!" to which i burst out laughing so hard that i was crying in the middle of the hallway, with all his fellow 2nd graders (8th graders) looking at me in puzzlement and astonishment.

- In my elementary school, when class was over, a handful of 5th graders started to crowd around me, just smiling at me since they couldn't think of anything to say in English. So, to get the ball rolling, i tried reading their names written in kanji on their PE uniforms (my elementary schools dont have uniforms for class, but they do for exercising/PE) (yes, i'm a kanji nerd). the teacher of that class was also there, and everyone was impressed with how many names i could read (little do they know how much i stalk japanese baseball players...muahaha).

then there was one girl who got all excited, and said, "What's my name?! What's my name?!" and pointed at her own shirt. Then at the same time, the teacher, the other students, girl, and ALT alike, all looked down at her chest to read her name. Except her name wasn't there! Her shirt was completely void of the sewn on cloth with students' names written on them. I had absolutely no control over outright laughing in her face in front of everyone, but she thought it was pretty funny too that she had forgotten her name wasn't there. She was embarassed to say the least, but hey, at least i know her face in the hallways now!

- So yesterday. I was at one of my elementary schools for the first time, and this is actually a designated special English school, where they really emphasize and encourage learning English. Anyway, when i was with the 5th grade class, after i gave my self-intro, the students went around and told me their names and then proceeded to say one additional thing, whether it be something about themselves or a question for me. By far, my favorite intro was:
Boy: Hello!
Me: Hello!
Boy: My name is Ryoya Setoguchi. Nice to meet you!
Me: Nice to meet you too!
Boy: Please call me "Bob!"
..at which point i burst out laughing so hard that i was crouched over hiding my face in my hands. all the students of course thought that my reaction was hilarious, which caused the whole room to eventually be cracking up.

- In that same 5th grade class, one kid insisted i call him "Boss." Yeah, sure buddy. Whatever you say =P

And finally, my favorite random adorable English moment:

- Yesterday i had lunch with that same 5th grade class (which i may as well say now, is by far the best class i've had at any school). I was grouped with 4 boys, all of which were rather shy. However, the boy sitting next to me was brave enough to start a conversation with me, and he said in perfectly grammatical but adorably Japanese-accented English: "Excuse me. What would you like for Christmas?"

Needless to say, i was dying of laughter to the point of needing my handerchief to wipe away the tears streaming down my face.

More stories hopefully coming soon!

Ja ne!

--Evelyn