...4 months later

So it's been 4 months since ending my JET life, and I can't say I have much to show for it.

After the great debate of whether to pursue a job in Tokyo or just come home, I eventually settled on coming home and getting started on my truly intended career path: healthcare.

Except, what I didn't expect was that I'd be greeted by a failing-further-by-the-day economy, a 7.7% unemployment rate in the Bay Area, and a hiring-freeze that seems to have affected every imaginable industry.

Compared to my former employed-lifestyle, I now spend most of my days playing with my nephew, looking for jobs, studying Japanese (I'll get to that in a second), or catching up on movies/TV shows that i've been deprived of for 2 years.

After a solid 1.5-2 months of job searching, i finally landed a part time job down in Los Altos. I now work for a doctor with a small-but-growing practice who specializes in helping unfertile women. He uses a combination of both western medicine and traditional Chinese medicine (like acupuncture and herbs). I actually feel very lucky i found this job at all... Still thinking that i want to go into nursing, this is the best first step i can take . I was looking for a medical assistant job, and it just so happened that this doctor was willing to train a part-time medical assistant (as opposed to most places who want someone who has medical assistant certification). Also, at one point, i toyed with the idea of studying acupuncture, so i get 2 experiences in 1.

However, i was ideally looking to land a full time job with medical and dental benefits. That search continues. If i find nothing by the end of January, i'm heading back to school to take the last few classes i need to apply to nursing school, although i suspect applying next year is going to be rough considering everyone will probably be fed up with being jobless and go back to school as well =(

The last month, however, i started to study Japanese intensely again. I foolishly thought that I stood a chance of passing level 1 of the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) this year, but i doubt that's going to happen. The test was yesterday, and needless to say, it was horrendous. I failed all the practice tests I took and I didn't expect much better on the real thing, but i'm glad i didn't chicken out. I'll be more prepared next year.

A few people have asked me how I like being home and just about the most common question I've gotten is: What do you miss most about Japan?

The first time someone asked me, I literaly stood there frozen for about a minute thinking super hard (granted, i had been drinking, but still). In the end, i couldn't produce an answer. To be honest, i think the thing i miss most is taking care of myself. Having my own apartment, complete with its mess, upkeep, bills, laundry, etc... was actually a great joy for me. I've never really lived on my own or had my own space, and it was refreshing to not have to rely on anyone. I miss my daily cooking experiments, baking under my kotatsu in winter, lying in the draft of my AC... but i certainly DONT miss waking up to the sound of koreans outside my window going for an early morning hike EVERY morning, my students heckling and following me outside of school, the fear of pit vipers or centipedes jumping out and biting me, or the general lack of privacy.

Also, now that i can enjoy central heating, sleeping in a spring-loaded bed, chairs, and hot water at every sink, I find it harder and harder to believe that I lived so long with out them. I dont think I could live in Japan on the long term like that again. It was an AMAZING experience for so many reasons, but the western luxuries I've become so used to are just so hard to live without.

One last thing: people have told me for so long that this and that is sooo sweet in america, and i never really believed it because i'm a total sugar addict. since everything is only moderately sweetened in japan, now that i'm back, everything tastes intensely sweet to me. damn japan for making me so sensitive! i guess i've at least warded off the diabetes for another couple of years of my life =P

and so it's final

what i never thought i'd say: my last week of teaching has commenced.

the rainy season is finally over, so it's been humid as hell the last week or so. seriously, unbearable. but along with the incredibly nice (but muggy) weather, my last rounds at school have been well underway, and as of this instant, i have 3 days of school, and 3 schools left to say goodbye to.

i can honestly say that despite all the Farewell Assemblies i've been to over the last few weeks, i've hardly shed a tear, since i know i'll probably run into more than a few of my students in my remaining few weeks on the island. i plan to hit up as many festivals on the island before i head out, and since we're approaching festival season, i'm sure i'll see a ton of people between the end of school and my departure.

speaking of departure, i've finally done it. i've finally purchased all my plane tickets which will ultimately bring me home. yes, that's right. i'm going home. about a week after my interviews, i decided that the only reason why i wanted to stay in japan another year was so i could perfect my writing and professional speaking skills. but really, i live in the bay area. that means that if i look hard enough, i can probably find a native or at least pretty damn fluent japanese speaker who can be my language buddy. so if i can find someone who can give me that one-on-one attention at home, there's really no need to put myself through the misery of living in Tokyo again.

soooo, i emailed 2 of the companies that i interviewed with (the JET like companies) and told them i just wasn't interested anymore, and that i was going home. i could tell i disappointed both of them, but i know this is what is best for me. i also soon got a rejection letter from the translation company... no surprise there.

SO, here's the "Evelyn's-ACTUALLY-going-home-for-good-plan":

Mon, Aug 4th: Leave Tsushima and head out towards Kansai

Thurs, Aug 7th: Watch my quite possibly last Hanshin game ever in Osaka vs. the Hiroshima Carps

Sat, Aug 9th or so: Head out to Tokyo to visit people

Thurs, Aug 14th: Depart from Narita and go straight back to SF

So to all you folk in the Bay Area, if you're free after Aug 15th, let me know and let's meet up!! It's going to be weird being home after finally getting used to the slow island life, but i know it's time to leave... i'm finally feeling the aching need to re-Americanize myself. I'm counting on you all to ease the process ;D

See you all soon!!!

in transit

(from 2 days ago at Fukuoka Airport)

So it’s 4:30 Tuesday afternoon, and after nearly 5 hours in transit, I’m still not home yet.

As I’ve previously mentioned, for a while now, I’ve been debating whether I should just go home, or if I should try and stay in japan for another year doing something/anything that will help me improve my Japanese in the long run so I can go back to the States someday and use Japanese on the job there.

As a culmination to all my job searching, Sunday through today, I’ve been in Tokyo, interviewing with 3 different companies.

First, I need to talk about Sunday, which was decided not my day. After 2 weeks of contacting the essential Japanese people I needed to meet in the Tokyo area, I got rejected by 2 people, and FINALLY found someone to meet Sunday – my host sister, Sayoko. Since my flights to Tokyo were in the morning, we planned to meet mid afternoon through early evening.

HOWEVER, thanks to crappy weather that is Tsushima, my first flight got delayed, hence screwing my plans to take my connecting flight and arriving in Tokyo at an hour early enough to meet Sayoko and her family.

With nothing else I could do, Aaron drove me back to his place and I proceeded to take the most unsatisfying nap ever (I had slept at 3am, and had woken up at 7:30 to make my flight). Panicking this whole time over what to do should the next flight get canceled, I started to map out different ways I could get to Tokyo that day without need to fly off of Tsushima. But luckily, the second flight was allowed to go, so I left the island at noon.

After a few hours waiting at Fukuoka airport, I finally managed to fly out and arrive in Tokyo late in the evening, which meant that I definitely missed my entire window of opportunity to meet Sayoko. Grrr….

Since it was pouring rain, all I could do was ride like 3 trains to finally get to my hotel, get a bento (boxed meal) at the local convenience store, camp out in my room, and watch the Japanese volleyball team play America (America won!!!).

Then came Monday: my marathon day. The first interview on the agenda was with a private company that like JET, recruits ALTs from overseas and places them all over Japan. I applied to a Coordinator of International Relations position, thinking that like Sujin, I’d be working mainly from a city office, translating various things for various people and events.

However, at my interview, I found out that whoever gets this job will be ALTing 2-3 days a week when there’s not that much CIR stuff to do. Not that I completely hate kids or anything, but I really wanted to stop the ALT gig. Had I known that THAT MUCH teaching would be involved in the job, I would have backed down sooner. However, they did pay for half of my airfare to Tokyo, so hey, I can’t complain. But to be fair, I had to work harder for this interview than any other jobs I applied to (form after form and requirement after requirement… it was like applying to JET all over again=/)

After spending my morning there, I headed out to Ikebukuro where I caught a McD’s lunch, then set off on an hour and a half train ride to northern Saitama, where I interviewed with Private Company Like JET #2. Here, I was applying for Assistant Human Resources Manager. Last week, I had an hour long phone interview with the two current managers, and for the most part, they sounded like pleasant people.

Since it was raining when I got to Saitama, I wasn’t too taken away with the scenery. It’s rural, so I can’t expect much, but hey, anywhere where you can get there by train is a considerate upgrade from living 2 years on Tsushima. But anyway, I thought I was completely lost, but it turns out I can read a map. Yay!

This place turns out to be a house converted into a place of business. For nearly 3 hours, I just chatted with the 2 people I had previously spoken on the phone to, and honestly, it felt less like an interview and more like a training session. They were very good about giving me an idea of what they deal with on a day-to-day and year-long basis. While it sounds like there would be times where I’d have to last minute do ALT stuff, it’s definitely not set in stone like the place I interviewed with in the morning, which is comforting.

As the interview progressed, I realized that since I’d be dealing with ALTs a lot, I may not be utilizing all the Japanese I was hoping to (although the lady that was interviewing me said I’d probably be using Japanese about 75% of the time… and I can see why – there are Japanese people working alongside them). However, I also realized that getting experience in a management position would definitely boost my resume. Every company that has spoken to me until now has asked me if I’ve had any experience with management, and each time, I unfortunately have to say no.

Some people at home are probably thinking, if you want to get into management, you can do that in America. While this is true, I wouldn’t be able to speak Japanese to my coworkers, now would i? This is why this job is tempting, if I get an offer, that is. The biggest downside would probably be that I’d be taking a paycut. While there are chances of getting promoted, I think I’d still max out at what I’m making now. Plus, there’s no promise of Aaron or anyone I already know in the immediate area, so weekends could get lonely…. =/

Speaking of lonely, after riding trains all over Tokyo the last two days, I was hit with sooo much nostalgia. Riding the Yamanote Line was probably the most positive form or nostalgia. I rode that line everyday back and forth from my dorm to work, and I remember how fascinating it was to watch the in-train TVs and just all the information they displayed.

Looking out the window and seeing the slummier looking areas of Tokyo are what brought back all the negative memories. I was sooooo lonely during my internship in Tokyo…. I could feel the familiar overwhelming sense of “I need to be with someone I know” all over again. Unpretty.

Anyway, since my second interview went late, I wasn’t able to get back to central Tokyo until 8, at which time I met up with Chris Cornute. Fellow lame-history-of-China classmate and co-SJEC officer, I found out last month that he got a job in Japan and would be moving here for a while. Sooo, I met him up at his office, where there was an open house event. Can I just say, the finance/business world is so NOT my scene. I felt SO out of place. The atmosphere just feels so competitive. I don’t have that kind of animal instinct and ability to schmooze for hours. I just felt so uneasy there.

After shaking hands with the appropriate people, chris and I set off to find dinner, and mind you, it’s 9 at this point. he swore there was a good udon place, so we started walking towards it. kinda. we got lost/ he couldn’t remember where it was, so I took us a little while, only further crippling my already crippled toes. (on a side note, I sat soooo much on the train out to saitama and in interviews, and walked sooo much in my heels between trying to find all these places, to the point that it hurt to sit, and it hurt to stand/walk. what can you do in times like that???!!) We finally found the place, ate some awesome udon, and after chatting for a while, both headed back to our respective train stops.

But, as my luck SUCKS, since I got off at a different train stop than I got on in the morning, I didn’t know where I was when I exited. wanting company on the walk back ot the hotel, I called Aaron as I walked in the direction I THOUGHT was back to the hotel. However, I just kept on walking, and more and more NOTHING looked familiar, and once again, nostalgia hit in. As a culmination of the 2 most miserable days of my life (in Tokyo), I went running to distress. However, since I only had my mp3 player and keys, I didn’t have money, glasses, or cellphone to help me when I got ENTIRELY lost. what I was hoping would be a 20 minute run ended up being an hour plus because I had run to basically twice the distant to the next train stop. it was awful.

and so was last night. I think I ended up walking an extra mile on my already throbbing feet. when I finally recognized the road again, it turns out that I WAS walking in the right direction, but the stupid freaking road went UNDER the road I wanted to be on. grrrr!!!!! so I basically made this gigantic circle when in truth, my sense of direction wasn’t crap. arrrrrgh Tokyo and your stupid senseless roads!!!!

anyway, today. this morning was my final interview at a translation company that is based in japan, but also has branches all over the world (and what particularly attracted me, their branch in LA). I was scheduled to go at 10, but I cleverly chose my hotel based on proximity to this company (since I’d have to bounce out of Tokyo quickly to make my 1:50 flight back to Fukuoka and hence Tsushima). I chose this hotel so well, that my room actually FACED their building, and they’re literally next door to each other. I was there about 30 seconds after I left my hotel hahah.

luckily, they let me in early, and we started at 9:40. in 20 minutes, the interview was over. I dunno how I feel about it. the benefits and pay are the best, with the treatment of an average Japanese person (like health insurance, commutation stipend, etc). however, the guy even said that judging from my resume, looking at manual after manual day in day out to translate would be a boring line of work for me=/

I originally thought this last company would be a good way of transitioning back into America with possibilities of a job in hand, but he’s right. it would be boring.

I have the best impression from the second company, and it really looks like it’d be fun to work with them, but is it worth staying another year away from family and home for?

All things I still need to think about… but alas, it’s finally time to board my plane, these dumb layovers. I swear, I’ve lost several days of my life just waiting at airports.

Anyway, I’ll be sure to let you all know the results of these jobs. and don’t worry, if I get nothing, I’m going home=)

closing time

i can barely believe it, but it's already june, which means that i have roughly a month left of teaching english in japan. it's crazy how fast these 2 years have flown by, and alas, i'm forced to move on to the next step. the big question is, what is that next step for me?

for about the last month or two, i've become very panicked about what i want to do the rest of my life. now that i'm 2 years out of university, i should theoretically have a better idea of what i want to do the rest of my life, right? well, kinda.

i've recently come to the conclusion that i want to do something, anything, that allows me to use japanese and english. i've also come to the conclusion that by only having passed level 2 of the japanese proficiency test, i can't find a job in the states because if i were the only person in a could who could use Japanese, that company would be screwed. seriously. this is why i feel that if i want to use japanese for real in the future, i need to spend at least another year in japanese, staying far away from the english-as-a-second-language gig, and instead working for a legitimate business or company. i'm pretty open minded to what kind of job it is. so long as i'm challenged to read, write, and speak japanese at a higher level that i currently am. i really want to be able to learn from my next job, and more than biotech or computer programming, i can see the direct effects of being able to communicate in a foreign language (as in, either people understand me or they dont).

feeling like my best option is to work in japan for a year, i've been scouring various japanese job search engines, so far to no avail. actually, i've been in a lot of contact with one company in particular in tokyo, but long story short: i applied, they rejected me, but they won't stop emailing me questions. i feel so insulted, but hey, if they're interested enough to keep talking to me, i guess that's a good sign, right?

most of the job sites i've been looking at list "must currently be in japan" as a major requirement. considering that i still have a year left on my visa, i feel like i should take advantage of my foot being in the door and at least having an advantage over the thousands of people overseas who i'm sure are also trying to find a job in japan.

but to tell you the truth, i could just as easily go home. i've been so on the fence for the last month regarding whether i should just go home or stay in japan and try to find a job... it's a daily battle in my brain over what i should do. tomorrow is my nephews first birthday... i've missed everything so far, from my sister being pregnant, to him standing, him talking... everything. i'd like to be the cool aunt that he likes to hang out with.... i wanna babysit him while i job search in america. i guess what i mainly want is to not have him growing up thinking i'm a stranger. he's family after all.

other reasons for going home: spending time with my family, seeing friends i haven't seen since graduation, catching up on 2 years of news i've missed while i've been hiding out on my rock in the middle of nowhere.

i guess what it boils down to is this: staying in japan and while there's the potential to learn a lot, i feel like it'd be really lonely (my last experience of living in Tokyo did NOT leave a positive impression, and i fear reliving the loneliness all over again...), or going home to family and friends, but no direction in terms of career.

the plan for now is to wait out the job search.. if something should land on my doorstep before mid-August, i'm staying. if there's nothing, i'm going home. goodbye visa, goodbye japan.

oh, in other news, i know who my successors will be! there will be 2 new girls and 2 new guys to tsushima (replacing me, aaron, rob, and mitch, who has already left). mitch's position is being moved out of the middle of the island down to where i am, as most of the schools are in the south anyway (seriously, it took the Board of Education long enough. i had 15 schools at one point, while that middle position only had 4... disgusting, no?). anyway, my position is being divided between one of the new girls and one of the new guys. i'm excited for them. i remember how much i craved information on tsushima, and how panicked i was about being in the middle of nowhere. they both seem like friendly and energetic people, and i wouldn't be surprised if they were multiple-year ALTs.

at any rate, it's closing time for my JET experience. i'm glad i did it, but at the same time, i'm glad to be done. i know now that i have the patience to teach, but i'm not cut out to be a teacher. the repetition is slowly killing me (like my first month in tsushima when i did my self-introduction about 45 times. i'm not joking either! @_@). i'm glad i had the opportunity to see how a small community runs, but alas, it's time for me to move on.

whether or not i find a job, i'd still like to take advantage of my free ticket home. so folks in the bay area, if you're around come end of august/beginning september, keep a day open so we can meet up! =)

post-parent visit

what i never thought would happen has happened -- my parents have come to visit me! in tsushima!


after a week long tour between areas in tokyo to kyoto, my parents ended their trip with a weekend visit to my little island home. as mountains separate anything worth seeing here, after a weekend of driving all over the place, i'm thoroughly exhausted of being a motorist.

i think that being our parents, we make a lot of assumptions about them.... especially me regarding mine, as i'm not used to seeing them handle new situations. in fact, i'm used to them solely dealing with the home and matters pertaining to it.

this is why i figured, them going to a new country? with all the nitpicky things that japanese people do? oh, they're in for some culture shock.

surprisingly, my parents were pretty open-minded about trying new things. for example, i got a call one night from my mom while they were in a hot springs town (one of the most famous in the country). she told me how the previous night, some of the people on their tour tried out the hot springs, but she was too shy to get naked in front of other people. after telling her how it's not that big of a deal, and that when in rome, do as romans do. so that night, she ended up trying the public bath, and she actually enjoyed it. she claims it was nice and relaxing.

when they first arrived, what i feared would happen happened: issues with ordering food. here you have me, the japan inhabitant; my dad, the hearty meat eater and relatively open-minded; and my mom, the buddhist vegetarian with all types of food banned from her diet. now place us in a tiny restaurant overlooking the sea, with a menu only in japanese with no pictures, and me trying to relay back and forth between my parents what's on the menu, and asking the waitress what to leave out of the food they serve my mom. it was kind of an issue, and became and even bigger issue when we went to the best restaurant on the island their first night. after all that hassle, we figured that cooking ourselves would be easiest, so we did that instead the rest of their time here.

after just their first day here, i realized something about them that never occurred to me: they are really westernized. when i'm at home, they are pretty traditional chinese, which is contrasted easily by the western culture outside my home that i grew up in. but after seeing them in japan, i realize how much they are used to western luxuries like beds, chairs, keeping your shoes on, and warm water at all sinks. just seeing how they kept asking me, "why dont you ~~?" i realized how much they are used to their own lifestyle, and they tended to assume that certain luxuries were available, when in truth, the japanese norm is way different.

by far, my most surprisingly enjoyable moment was when i took them to the beach. god knows how long it's been since my mom has been to a real beach. the moment she smelled the salt in the air, she told me about her childhood memories of swimming at the beach with all her siblings and father. it was adorable when she started combing the beach with a random stick to find seashells buried beneath the sand, all with the intention of putting the shells in my fish tank at home.

there was even a moment when aaron came over for mom-cooked food one night, and my dad went into his story-telling mode (the kind that's about family history -- those are my favorites. lectures about how my pictures suck are the kind of storytelling i can't stand). as usual, entertaining. i miss those storytimes that i can only really get at home.

all in all, i'm very happy they came. it's a lonnng way, especially for them going home (they were in transit for 19 hours on the way back home.... they started in tsushima, which means transfers at fukuoka and narita before finally heading back to SF). granted, it was all paid for by my brother, but the fact that extensive traveling is hard on the body, especially at their age, made it especially impressive that they made the trip out here.

i know i tend to get short with them and really sarcastic, but i hope they know that i was very happy they were here. i guess everyone has their own way of showing affection for their parents. i feel like traditional asian families are a little more distanced emotionally than american-bred families (we dont talk about boyfriends, relationships, "love" or mushy stuff like that), but i think that at the end of the day, both sides have a mutual understanding of the other.

i know this sounds cocky, but i think after seeing my home and the insular lifestyle that i lead, they are proud that i've made it this far and this long. for the first time, i could hear a slight ring of pride in my mom's voice when she introduced herself as my mother. even though i've barely seen them in the last 2 years, i dont think they've completely forgotten or given up on me (even though both of them kept calling me by my sister's name.... my mom even called me my brother's name once...*sigh*). and despite my long absence from home, i was glad to see they were in good health, and the same as ever.

bottom line, i love my parents.... though i can never actually say that to their faces, cuz that's just too mushy for us f(^_^;;)

beginning of the end

it's been quite a while since i've written, but as usual, not much is new. my last two months can be summed up with 3 points:

1) I went to Taiwan with Aaron over Spring Break
2) First semester has started, which is the beginning of my JET end
3) Us ALTs had the wildest/longest day up north in Hitakatsu 2 weekends ago, and was by far, the most fun i've had all year

first off: Taiwan. after planning the packed trip that was Okinawa for me and 2 other people, i felt really adverse to the idea of planning yet another trip so soon afterwards. originally, aaron and i wanted to travel all over the place during spring break (singapore, manila, hong kong, and taiwan), but due to cathay pacific failing us again, we just decided to do taiwan only, and it actually worked out for the best.

we spent a week there, including 2 days in Tainan and 4.5 days in Taipei. since adam had gone to Tainan earlier in the year, we figured Tainan could offer us the non-metropolis view of taiwan, and all in all, it seemed like a pretty nice place to live. i think it's currently the 4th most populated city in Taiwan (i think the old capital of Taiwan if my memory serves me right), so there's a good balance of people, sightseeing, and places to go. we figured taipei would serve our shopping cravings, so we spent those two days in Tainan walking endlessly, seeing just about everything there was to see tourist-wise.

then it was taipei. man, is food cheap in taiwan. i ate like a king for a week, and still didn't need to break into my emergency piggy bank fund. off the top of my head, i recall going to Taipei 101 (the tallest completed building in the world), the Shilin Night Market (which was insanely packed and huge), Maokong Gondola (takes you to the top of a mountain for a view of Taipei... and home of many tea farms), some electronics market (where i got the pimpest electronic dictionary ever), the and National Palace Museum (home to one of the largest collections of Chinese art in the world).

while i've come to expect a lot of walking on vacations by now, i didn't foresee just how much we'd be walking in taiwan. by far, our most ridiculous day was our first whole day in taipei. our hotel was the second to last stop on one of the metro lines, and from our hotel, we could see Taipei 101. so that morning, we figured we could walk 10 mins to the station, take the metro for 2 stops, then walk another 10 mins to Taipei 101, or we could just walk straight there. so being the foolish people we were, we walked about 45 mins from our hotel to Taipei 101... you know, it's deceivingly far... but i guess you'd have to expect that since it's the tallest building in the world and all. also, up close, Taipei 101 didn't feel that tall because all the surrounding buildings are short. i still recall visiting the Twin Towers in NY the summer before senior year and thinking, daaaaamn they're tall, but then again, all the neighboring buildings being tall to begin with kind of accentuated how tall i perceived the Twin Towers to be.

after taipei 101, we went to an electronics market because for years, i've wanted an electronic dictionary that can go from english to mandarin and cantonese. particularly, i want it to pronounce it out loud for me so i can speak better. after wandering the market for nearly 2 hours, i finally settled on one that had what i wanted, and had a good price. for only about US$170, my dictionary can not only do cantonese and mandarin, but it can also go from chinese <-> japanese, german, french, spanish, and italian. not to mention it has a study function where you can learn conversational phrases in languages like thai, vietnamese, russian, and god knows what else. it's pretty insane.

as if all this walking wasn't enough, that night, we decided to hit up one of the highlights of taipei: the Shilin Night Market. it's famous for it's specialty foods, and just having a giant market that sells everything from shoes, to knock-off DVDs, to clothes, to accessories..... you name it, they probably have it. fulfilling yet another dream of mine, i purchased a real mahjong set... it was a bit pricey, but for the future joys i'll indulge in with my very own joy luck club, i can't complain. despite the market being pretty huge, i'd still have to say the weekend market in Bangkok is the most impressive market i've ever seen. i mean, there's something like 10,000+ stalls there, and no one has ever been able to count them all. THAT'S lunacy.

so to sum up, in that one day, we probably walked about 7 or 8 hours total... which is why it was no surprise that we were shells of human beings in the successive days. we'd aim to do something that day, and by the time we finished it, we were like, screw it, let's go back to the hotel and nap. all in all, though, i had a great time, and it was due mainly to the company and to not having a strict plan of what we had to do every day... going with the flow definitely made it that much more relaxing.

after our vacation, it was school. so far, i'm finding that teachers who have been reassigned schools have managed to stay within my town, which means that at the end of the shuffle, i still get to see my favorite teachers in new environments, while at least 2 teachers i disliked have been moved out of my town to aaron's schools muahahaha (^ ^)v it's weird to think that i've spent a whole school year with all my students, and that now they've moved on to the next grade. it really doesn't feel like i've been here that long, much less that i've been here for over half of their school year when i got here, saw them through a whole school year, and now am beginning a 3 school year with them. at the end of this semester, that's it... i'm gone. i don't think it's really sunken in... the year is fresh for everyone around me -- teachers and students alike. since my schedule doesn't change, and since they all know me, my life is relatively stable. i'm the type of person where once i'm used to a certain lifestyle, i dont change unless i need to. which is why now that i'm set in this routine, it's going to be strange uprooting myself and moving back home.

finally, the 3rd exciting piece of news... the funnest day ever this year. 2 weekends ago, all of us got together up north for a day at the beach. for about 4 solid hours, we played volleyball, baseball, soccer, and frisbee. as if all that running around wasn't hard enough on our bodies, we followed that up with a night of drunken debauchery. we gathered at joey's to ultimately enjoy a bbq, beirut, and dancing. i can only imagine how loud we were. poor mike got completely trashed and passed out shirtless on joey's couch early in the night. so what does joey do? break out in the sharpies... mike said it took a few days to get all the sharpie mess out, and i dont blame him...

in short, i'm glad we had that bonding time. it was an insane day, but i had a great time, and i think everyone else would say the same.

it's back to work tomorrow, but at the end of the week, guess what i have to look forward to? showing my parents around Tsushima! that's right --- after allll this time, they've finally given in and decided to come to me (on my brother's tab =D). i'll have them for the weekend, and then it's only a few more months till i'm destined for home.

that's all the news for now. tah tah!

obachans

a long time ago, long before i first started living in japan, my image of japan was that everyone here was super nice, super friendly, and super gentle. if you had asked me 10 years ago, i probably would have told you the most dangerous people in japan were probably the japanese mafia, or yakuza.

however, had you asked me that question at the time of my last post, i probably would have told you it was rebellious kids, who live up to no law. too young to care about real japanese laws, and old enough to know that teachers wont do shit to stop you from what you're doing.

now that i've just come back from the supermarket, i have yet a newer perspective on how to answer this question. my answer now: obachans, or japanese grannies.

here's why:

i dont know if i've ever expressed how much i dislike driving in japan, but i really do. it's actually pretty scary. i mean, LA driving is SCARY, but obachans on the road are in their own separate category. i'm sure you've all heard female asian driver stereotypes, and i can assure you, those stereotypes start with obachans.

i feel like a lot of the time, grannies can be put into two categories: the very sweet, cake-baking grandmother whose excellent cooking makes up the majority of your childhood memories of her, or you have the scary grannie, the take-no-bullshit type who really knew how to screw with your mind and knew exactly how to put you in your place. japanese grannies exhibit a different kind of characteristic, that being "ruthless".

if you're driving down the road and you see a car inching out into the lane in front of you, but you're driving so fast and you're so close that you think, "no idiot would try to pull in front of me---" when all of a sudden, you see a little old lady pulling out at about 2 mph in front of you, causing you not only slam on your brakes, giving everyone in your car whiplash, but also causing you to scream obscenities out loud -- only to face the fact that that obachan will never know how she ruined your day.

this is no abnormal occurrence. this is daily life (at least for me on Tsushima). granted, anyone who's been in my car knows i get pretty bad road rage, but obachans definitely earn their reputations.

and since most roads in Tsushima have at most 2 lanes etched out (one for each direction), if someone is driving slow in front of you (like most obachans), it's tricky to pass them with all the snaking mountain roads and just narrow roads in general. however, every so many hundreds of feet, there will be a particular area on the road that gets a little wider for people to pull aside so others can pass them. guess who NEVER takes advantage of those pullouts, hence making the drivers of the 20 car caravan behind you just want to put bullets in their brains? that's right. you got it.

like i said earlier, i just got back from the supermarket. a normal supermarket obachan encounter also occurred. i always scout out my local grocery store's frozen aisle because every couple of weeks, there is a half-off all ice cream sale, which i always use as an opportunity to stock up. anyway, i'm standing there, finally decided which ice creams i'm getting, open the freezer door, and as i'm reaching in for my boxes of ice cream, i feel the weight of the freezer close suddenly disappear. as my hands close around my ice cream, i look over my right shoulder, and sure enough, an obachan is all up in my personal space, holding onto the door with one hand and reaching into the freezer with the other even BEFORE i've finished fishing out my ice cream.

and i may i just note, the freezers are fully stocked, as in there are at least 10 boxes of every kind of ice cream. and please also note, there is NO ONE within 30 feet of us. obachan, who is going to take allll that ice cream between the time i leave the freezer aisle and the time you approach the freezer? you could have, oh i dont know, WAITED until i was done getting my ice cream before besieging the freezer door. and the best part of this story is that even though i got there first and yes, i may have threatened her selection, she didn't even get the same ice cream as me! **smacks forehead**

this is only one of many times obachans have exhibited such competitive behavior around me. it seems as though every time i'm anywhere in a supermarket, if i'm standing there looking at the baking section, or pasta section, or meat section, an obachan HAS to walk up RIGHT next to me, and proceed to grab exactly what i'm staring at. i sometimes wonder if a) obachans have this evelyn-homing device or i unconsciously exert this infrared bat signal that tells obachans to home in on my location and 邪魔 my world, or b) i'm a natural born silent food advertiser. *shrug*

i sometimes wonder with all the hate i express in my blogs if i'm some kind of misanthrope... i'd like to think not, but correct me if i'm wrong..

anyway, one final comment about obachans. a while ago, i was watching a variety show where they were going around to preschools and interviewing little kids. they asked this one girl, who was probably about 4 years old, "are you scared of anything?" to which she answered, "nope. nothing."

"are you sure?"

"well, there's one thing. obachans at a supermarket sale. they don't care about kids, and they will run right over us."

i rest my case =)

i am a lousy teacher

for months now, i've had a 2nd year student in middle school (an 8th grader) who is uncontrollable, obnoxious, violent, a disturbance, and a plague. in a class of only 14 kids, it's hard to ignore him when he's being so loud and offensive. till now, i've been a lot more patient with him than i would have been with, say, cousins who anger me, or some of my more annoying younger students. like i said, till now.

when i first started teaching here a year and a half ago, i noticed that the class had a pretty low english level (coupled with the fact the teacher is the most clueless when it comes to how much English his students actually know). the boys would always cheat on the activities i came up with, and the girls would just kinda stare at me not knowing what to do.

however, starting sometime last semester, sometime after i came back from the States, suddenly a lot of the students have had a boost in their English ability. i can't explain it. whereas before, most of them would have this blank or lost look on their faces, now they can actually understand a good portion of what i say, and sometimes even answer me. and it's been great. everything except this asshole.

while everyone seems (at least to me) to be getting better at English, this asshole has been getting rowdier, more offensive, more violent, and just angrier. every class with him now is a struggle to get ANYTHING done. the thing is, when he's not there (like yesterday), we can actually get stuff done. people actually get something out of class. it's just when he's there that his control spreads over all the boys (all but 2... the smart kid and the weak kid, who gets picked on for not bowing down to the asshole). then, all but those 2 boys end up being assholes on varying levels. they'll all start picking on the teacher, and apparently beating him as well as i witnessed today.

to my memory, only once have i taken out my anger on him. this is quite a few months back. as usual, he was being annoying and talking all over the class, and when i finally couldn't stand hearing his voice anymore, i walked up behind him and hit him lightly on the backside of his head with the textbook, and simple said to him, "Shh!" i think if anything, everyone was just shocked that i did that. the class is usually silent (especially the girls) because no one wants to be in the line of his fire. after that, the whiny little fart he is, just complained about how his head hurt and how he wanted to go to the nurses office. c'mon now. you're telling me that after all the fist fights you've been in, being hit LIGHTLY with a 70 page paperback book HURTS? cry me a river.

anyway, today. before class even STARTED, the asshole was yelling at the teacher AND choking him. this is only the beginning. then, i start to explain my simplified version of monopoly, which isn't about monopolies at all. each square has a question. you answer the question correctly, you get however many dollars is written down. if you land on a Oh no! box, you put your money in the middle. you land on Yes!, you get all the essentially Free Parking money in the middle.

as simple of a game this is, i still needed to explain it. the ENTIRE time i'm trying to explain this, he's talking louder than me. so i try explaining it louder, but still, all i can hear is his voice. at my wit's end, i finally "Shhh!!!!" him, and give him my i'm-gonna-chop-your-balls-off look. for about 2 seconds, the entire class was silent and taken aback. then, he regains footing. he starts yelling back, swearing at me. to which i respond, "SHUT UP!!"

now you have to understand, this has been bottled up inside for a VERY long time. i wont get into details, but after shut up, i started talking back in english (which he of course can't understand because he doesn't study and doesn't care). and since i'm talking back period, he's getting more pissed, and stands up and walks towards me like he's going to beat me. you know, i'm at the point where i'd welcome him punching me, because it would accomplish 3 things: 1) allowing me the right to punch him back, 2) getting him sent out of class, and 3) maybe, just maybe, excusing me from ever coming back this school. now dont get me wrong. i love my 1st years and 3rd years. i love having class with them. but having to deal with him that one hour of the day just sends my stress hormone levels through the roof. i seriously think i'm going to have a heart attack every time i'm in that class.

anyway, he approaches, the teacher intervenes and steps in front of him, he's still yelling at me, i'm standing there looking pissed, never taking my eyes off of his. if it's one thing, it's that i'm NOT afraid of him. he may scare all the other teachers, but i have done NOTHING to deserve the rage he channels at me. and to act like a little dick in my class all the time.. shit like that needs to be earned. i certainly dont think i've earned it.

at one point, the teacher next door comes in and asks him to stop yelling (cuz he is LOUD). the asshole eventually throws a friends metal pencil case in my direction (but really, i think he meant to throw it just onto the floor). then he comes up and shoves the teachers podium which i'm standing behind, hence everything that was on the podium and on the hidden shelf just fell to the floor and on my feet. this whole time, i didn't take my eyes of of him. i am WAY to angry at him to let him think for even a MILLISECOND that i'm afraid of him.

he finally, after several minutes of him swearing and yelling at me, sits down, keeps on swearing out loud and ranting to his friend, while the teacher goes on to repeat my explanation in japanese. the kids break up into groups and start playing. everything's good again, right? the asshole goes on to trying to fight the teacher, the whole time the teacher trying to get him to stop (even though the kid is obviously trying to hurt him for real).

about 10 minutes later, i'm flagged over to the asshole's group, consisting of the asshole, one of his lackeys (who has gone from being a very good student to from what i can tell, becoming a slacker and a back-talker), and another lackey (who has in recent times shown that he's been working hard on his english). the conversation went on for quite a while, but most of what was said:
him: why did you tell me to shut up?
me: because i heard you louder and clearer than i could hear myself.

me: why were you talking?
him: because i didn't understand what you were saying.
me: then you could have ASKED me, AFTER i finished explaining the game the FIRST time.

me: why do you hate me?
him: i hate english. and i hate him (the teacher), and since i hate him, by association, i hate you.

him: i hate english.
me: well, you can hate me and english, but you can't be disruptive in class. you can sit in the library and study if you want, just dont ruin class for everyone else.

me: you know, the only one losing here is you.
him: no, you're the loser.
me: no, you are. i know japanese and english. i'm here to help YOU. if you dont want my help, that's decidedly YOUR loss.
him: the f*ck do i have to learn english for?! i hate english!

me: *sigh*

basically, i could only understand half of what he was saying because he talks like a low-life hoodlum. and even though i didn't understand what he was saying, i'm pretty sure he ended every statement by calling me a fucker or a bitch. whatever. i could care less what he calls me.

in retrospect though, i do feel like a lousy teacher. i know it was wrong to have lost my cool in front of class like that, but it was a long time coming. and i dont even feel satisfied by my outburst. i really just want to sock him in the face. he has no right to disrespect all the people that he does. where i come from, you earn your respect, and until you do, you respect others. he has made zero effort in either realm.

and to top things off, after class, my teacher went to the head teacher/vice principal and told him about class. right afterwards, he tells me that he needs to write a report about class, documenting what happened and what was said.

now, all i can think about is, can i get fired for this? i didn't touch him at all (i restrained myself at least THAT much). can i get deported for bad conduct? part of me is worried that the report is more to report what I did as opposed to how much of an ass the asshole was being. his behavior has just gotten worse over the months.

here's the thing though. as a teacher, we're supposed to encourage all kids to keep at the school thing. we're supposed to make them think about their futures. want to be better than they are. but what do you do in the case of an overly aggressive student, who obviously doesn't care about school, doesn't care whose face he gets in, only thinks about beating or bullying people all day... is there a point where it's okay to let a child go? to just give up on a student? is there such a thing as a lost cause?

the asshole even said to me today that he doesn't even care if he ends up in prison. how do you get through to someone to value their OWN life? without even that little ounce of appreciation, wouldn't it be impossible to get him to respect others?

*sigh*

i'm kind of at the point here where i wouldn't really care if i got fired. yeah, i'd be pretty bitter that he was the reason why, but at the same time, if something as retarded as this can cause me to be kicked out of the country, well, i guess i was never meant to do this from the beginning.

more than anything, i'm just frustrated right now. i wish there was someway someone in his life could change his mind. he's apparently the youngest of 5 brothers, the second youngest who was one of my students when i first got here. that brother is now a first year high school dropout. i see him wandering town all the time with his dropout friends. i hate to say it, but dont you think this is all the product of poor parenting?... in japan, teachers are responsible for moral education. but if you go through the trouble of birthing, raising, feeding, and housing a child, you should step up and take some goddamn responsibility for it turns out. granted, peers have a big influence on kids. but if your kid is the reigning asshole and is proud of it, that makes YOU a lousy parent.

it's sad. the more i learn about the japanese school system, the more depressed i get. here's the thing. there's the moral education thing that's put on the teachers, but to make things worse, the system here doesn't end up punishing those who deserve it; it punishes the brightest kids.

for example, a while back, some of my students decided to pluck their eyebrows. eyebrows people. it's body hair. girls should have a say about stuff that grows out of their face. right? wrong. these girls got reamed out by their teachers. they're not allowed to wear makeup to school, or do stuff like plucking eyebrows.

then there are the kids who go to their teachers and ask them for their homework early so they can go to a baseball game or track meet on the mainland. what happens then? the teachers use this opportunity to lecture them about staying on top of their work, and asking them why this and that was turned in late.

and still, there are the kids who are good students, but kinda sloppy. teachers are always yelling at them about uniforms being orderly and whatnot.

like i said, the good kids get punished.

and then there are the handful of out of control rebels. when your system is based on a lofty expectation like, students actually caring about school, there is no built-in rule about what to do with problem students. which is where the asshole comes in. he doesnt fall into the regular student mold of students caring about their future. in fact, he goes to school solely TO rebel when he gets there. what's anyone going to do about it? from the looks of it, absolutely nothing. he still has over a year of middle school left. how much worse is the situation going to get? at what point will some lazy old fart finally step up to the plate and just kick him out of school? that's what he wants isn't it?

*shaking head*

i feel like i'm just stuck.. until i leave, it looks like there's no way i can avoid him. he's not going to graduate before august. at least i'm done with the school for the month, so i dont have to feel shitty about it for a few weeks. but oh man. i can only imagine how painstaking this school is going to be in the future.

and dont worry -- if i get deported, you'll all be notified =P

my winter vacation

although it's only 11am and it's a school day, i'm in massive danger of falling asleep at my desk, so i thought i'd write here to keep me awake.

quite a bit has happened since my last post. namely: my okinawa and kansai trip, helping aaron move, and seeing Natsukawa Rimi. i'll start with Okinawa.

since my crew's (me, aaron, and david) original plan of seeing malaysia, taiwan, hong kong, and singapore was foiled by Cathay Pacific, in a last ditch effort to get off this rock, i planned a trip for us to go to Okinawa instead. since okinawa is a chain of islands, we focused our little expedition around three islands: the main island where Naha is, Ishigaki, and Iriomote.

Naha is where all the tourists go. it's where all the souvenir shopping, shopping in general, and tourists trap are. most guide books say naha can be seen in a day or 2, but really, after doing extensive sightseeing in japan (particularly around kyoto), i'm really tired of all the touristy places, and of late, have been more into "experiencing" a place... going to the heart of the place is (read: boonies), and trying out local foods to get a feel for not only cuisine, but local culture. this said, the most exciting part of naha for me was all the souvenir shops, getting a bunch of freebies through our travel package, and at long last, buying a sanshin.

setting out on christmas eve and having roughly 7 days in okinawa, we spent 2 days in naha, then flew to ishigaki where we stayed till our return to mainland japan. we spent 2 days looking around ishigaki, 2 around iriomote (ferrying RT each day), then our last day bumming around ishigaki till we could fly back to naha then fly back to fukuoka.

so on day 3, the 3 of us flew to ishigaki, and after a 2-hour morning joyride in our rent-a-car, we headed out to a sanshin lesson (which i think may have come out to be free in the end... does it count if i don't remember paying for it?...). so this is going to sound retarded, but from looking through all the pamphlets i got from my travel agency, i was determined to go to this place that had an hour and a half long sanshin lesson in a cafe environment for only 10 bucks (by far the cheapest i saw). this place just happened to be in ishigaki, which is why from the get-go, i wanted to go to ishigaki, and not another popular island (Miyako, home of the guiness world record holder for greatest number of minerals [15 i think] in natural salt. i saw a thing on it on tv a while back...)

it turned out that the guy i bought my sanshin from insisted that if i buy a sanshin from him, that i know how to play it. so on day 2 of our trip, i got a private hour long lesson from one of the sanshin makers, just before purchasing my beautiful sanshin. then, the following day in ishigaki, as a group, the 3 of us learned how to play Nada Sousou. a little tiring, but very worthwhile in my opinion. one cool thing we found out from our instructor was that ishigaki island is actually the hometown of one of my favorite japanese singers -- Natsukawa Rimi (a point i'll emphasize later). Rimi also plays the sanshin, which kinda got me started on the whole sanshin/okinawa obsession to begin with. fitting that i stumbled upon her hometown, don't you think? =P

that evening, starving and wandering aimlessly around the "downtown"ish area of ishigaki, aaron chanced upon a yakiniku joint, where their specialty was Ishigaki beef. omg. sooooo good. ishigaki beef is heavenly. if you ever find yourself there, try it. you can grill it yourself jussst enough so that it's not drippy with blood. seriously. delicious. pricey, but delicious.

day 4 was a very full day of driving all over, sightseeing, and beach hopping. although the water was a bit cold, the sea was absolutely beautiful. i can only imagine how breathtaking it can be during summer.

day 5 was our first day in Iriomote island. to start off festivities, we went on a mangroves tour along Nakama River that runs from the SE end of the island towards the middle of the island. i got some nice pictures along the tour and saw some interesting flora. the highlight of the ride was definitely this big tree with tall ripply-looking roots. you can see pictures of it and the rest of my trip on facebook or shutterfly.

so why iriomote in the first place? it's home to the only other place in japan aside from tsushima where yamanekos (leopard cats) can be found. the way we figured, how many foreigners who come to japan get to see BOTH kinds of yamanekos on native soil? not very many (so i'll keep telling myself). since the yamaneko center was going to be closed the following day for new years vacation, we headed to the southern port of iriomote (Ohara port) and bused up to the wildlife center. rating: poor. there was a small exhibit on the yamaneko, but when it came to actually seeing the cat -- close but no cigar. rather than a viewing room where you can see the yamaneko through a glass window in tsushima, all iriomote had to offer was a TV connected to a camera installed inside the yamaneko cage, broadcasting the cat during visiting hours. in one word: LAME. the tsushima yamaneko by far rocks the iriomote yamaneko. and as far as i could tell, the iriomote cat wasn't dying of feline AIDS or anything. that to me should mean the iriomote cat should be more able to handle visitors gawking at it live. but that's just my humble opinion.

since the bus system on iriomote is as inefficient as tsushimas, we had the option of waiting 2 hours for a bus to take us to a place that was a 5 minute drive away, or walk. so we walked. boy did we walk a lot that day.

our next goal was to ride a water buffalo-drawn cart. we didn't even care where it was going. turns out that on the eastern coast of iriomote, you can ride said cart for about 10 minutes to cross over between the larger iriomote island to a teeny tiny island called Yubu-jima. this is where i fell in love with cutesy water buffalo imagery and blew a bunch of money, but all in all, a worthwhile experience. the water buffalo cart is a must if you ever find yourself in okinawa.

the following day (day 6) we attempted to get into the northern port of iriomote (uehara), but thanks to unpleasantly high waves, we had to pull into ohara port, then bus ourselves to our only destination of the day: Urauchi River.

from there, we went on another short tour of mangroves, then were dropped off to do a 2 hour hike to see 2 waterfalls: Maryudo Waterfall, and Kanbire Waterfall. Kanbire was cool because you could get right up to it, whereas Maryudo you could only take pictures of from far away. good exercise regardless. i'd also recommend this hike if you ever found yourself in iriomote.

like all good and expensive things, our trip was coming to an end. our final day in okinawa was spent wandering the streets of ishigaki, making last ditch efforts to find souvenirs for friends and family.

after finally returning to fukuoka, we spent the night there then set off the next day via shinkansen to spend more quality time with david in kobe. it was a slow new years eve, but after getting violently sick after going to a club 2 years ago, i was okay with celebrating at david's place.

as all visits to kansai include, i trekked up to kyoto to visit my host family. i decided to invade them on the evening the whole family was meeting up. i really wanted to see my host sister, as the last time i saw her, she'd just given birth 3 days before. now both she and her brother have growing families, both with 2 year olds and 7 month old sons. ayasa, the oldest and the only girl among the grandchildren, was born while i was living with my host family. it's crazy to think how much time elapses between each time i see her. her existence marks how long ago my kyoto days are. i can honestly say kyoto was one of the happiest times of my life, and while i do miss it the sense of adventure, independence, and fascination, i know it's not a period of my life i can repeat, which i feel is something that took me a while to accept.

so, upon my return to the rock, aaron decided that he was going to move, so that first weekend back was all about helping him pack, clean, and schlep boxes all over the place. thank god he moved too. his place was falling apart, his landlady couldn't really care less, and his upstairs neighbor was a sack of dirt. plus his new place has really shaped up now, and is slowly becoming a pimper and pimper apartment.

the only other really exciting thing that has happened in my life has been Natsukawa Rimi. earlier i mentioned that she was native to Ishigaki in Okinawa, but what i haven't mentioned yet is that she has the prettiest voice i've ever heard in my life, and i'll stand by that claim. and after going to her concert (and hearing Rob's expert opinion on her singing), she is also one of the most talented singers out there.

even though no one aside from me knows who she is, luckily Rob was willing to go with me to Nagasaki (the land of nothing) to see her concert. i was hoping so much that she'd play Nada Sousou on her sanshin, and sure enough, she did! yaaaaay

perhaps more amazingly, though, she opened with Hana, which i'd never heard her sing till that night, but it was so good i cried. her voice is that beautiful. she just strolled out on stage, and started singing it a capella (just like the above link, except imagine the first minute and a half of just her voice). despite the distance and time it took to just get to the venue, i totally think it was worth it. the way i figure, i could have seen muse last year with the guys, but muse is the type of band i could potentially see in the states. but in the case of natsukawa rimi, i feel like this is a concert i'd only be able to see in japan.

it's been a very eventful month, but alas, it's back to class. i can't believe the short amount of time i have left here. it's only about 7 months from now that i'll be leaving japan for who knows how long. i've already started the job/life panic.. the whole what am i going to do with the rest of my life and where do i want to be quarter-life crisis.

at any rate, i finally have class... more [hopefully] soon