- went back to America
- met my nephew
- saw my family and friends
- came back to Tsushima (after a solid 24 hours in transit)... puked on the plane as it landed in Fukuoka (my 2nd plane back)... you now know someone who's used a barf bag! my final mode of transportation was a ferry, which you'd think sounds like a bad idea just after throwing up on a plane, but i passed out so hard it didn't even matter (the ferry took off at midnight and docked at 5am)
- left Tsushima a week later to go to Nagasaki-city where i tragically had to take my driver's license test.... details which i will divulge now.
so some of you have asked me, wait, haven't you been driving for the last year in japan? why do you suddenly now need to take a licensing test? so there's this rule that if you have what's called an International Driver's Permit (IDP), which you BUY, not EARN by taking some test, you can carry the IDP along with your home country's license for one year and be a valid driver in Japan.
so relax! i've been a legal driver for the last year. however, once your IDP expires (which is only good for a year), you have to get a Japanese license to drive here. which is why i had to go to to the mainland to a city called Omura in my prefecture.
i've been driving for about 4 years now. you'd think that makes me a pretty decent driver, right? WRONG. let me now describe to you the pain of obtaining a license in this country.
first off, before you make any phone calls for an appointment at the japanese DMV, you need to send a copy of your home country license to a separate agency to translate it into Japanese. of course, you have to pay for this translation. after it's mailed to you (which they're luckily very quick about), THEN you can make your appointment at this place in Omura.
lucky for me, this is prime foreigner-trying-to-transfer-licenses-time, so under panic, i decided to get all this crap done before i left for the States. between talking to my office and Toyota-san, i sent in my request for a translation, booked an appointment at the DMV, and booked a plane off the island for the morning of my appointment all in the day before i left for home. not bad, eh?
then came the hard part. after getting back to japan, it started to sink in that i was going to take this test. i have 3 free vacation days this month (a special thing through my prefecture), and since i can't use it any other time, i figured i'd use these 3 days to get my license. after that, my vacation days would start coming out of my 20 days of vacation in the year (everyone holds onto vacation days like gold coins here).
after a lot of prepping from Aaron and reading up on a couple of sites, i think i had the main idea of what i needed to do. just go give you an idea of what they're looking for, you need to:
- constantly look over your shoulders for bicyclists and moped drivers
- constantly bear to the left part of your lane, even though you have the whole lane to drive in
- look twice over your shoulder for bicyclists when trying to make a turn, and pull waaay into the bicyclists and mopedists way so they dont try to pull up beside you and you eventually hit them as you turn
- constantly look into ALL your mirrors for other drivers
- did i mention the test takes place on a course?
- hug the curb TIGHTLY whenever turning
- constantly have your signal on well in advance
- adjust your seat, put on your seatbelt, and adjust your mirrors IN THAT ORDER
- brake fully BEFORE entering a bend in the road, as opposed to the American thought that says brake as entering the bend
- successfully drive through an S-Curve and what they call the "Crank"
- the S-Curve is shaped like an S, but is outlined by sidewalks on both sides. think of a parking spot. take that width and stretch it out into an S. yup. THAT tight.
- the Crank is shaped like one line of a swatstika... so you pull into the Crank, then you're looking at a right angled turn to the right, then an immediate right angled turn to the left. painful. again, sidewalk/curb on both sides, parking spot width, and also these hanging yellow bars that flank the turns that will move and jingle if you hit them.
so to summarize, during the test you're constantly looking everywhere EXCEPT directly in front of you, your signal's constantly clicking, and you're sweating bullets through these 2 near-impossible turns designed to be impossible. awesome, no?
so monday, i arrive in Omura, and 10 minutes after landing, i'm at the DMV. i check in, except i'm "too early" because foreigner drivers can't check in until 10:30am. i look at the clock and it's 10:10. *rolling eyes*. so as i sat and waited, i saw on one of their marquees that foreinger check in is everyday from 10:30-11am. talk about a tight timeframe.
finally, it's 10:30, and they take all my documents (including my current and former California license, passport, and Alien Registration Card), essentially holding my identity hostage. after a bit, they come out, and tell me that it's time to take the written test.
their written test is a joke. it's 10 questions, true or false, complete with pictures and poor english. seriously, you'd have to be a retard to not score at least 8/10 on that test. i mean seriously. one of the questions were:
"I hear the sirens of an ambulance behind me as i'm approaching an intersection, but i hurry up and speed along ahead anyway."
another brilliant one was:
"I'm about to turn right through an intersection, but because there's a car approaching the intersection from the other direction and going straight, and yet another car in the opposite direction about to turn left at that corner, i can't turn yet because i'll disrupt the flow of their traffic."
it really isn't brain surgery, folks. anyway, i passed my test with a perfect score. but that was the easy part. by the time i'm done with this , it's 11:30, i'm starving, and i need to check in for my practical at 1:00.
so i walked down the street to a convenience store, bought some lunch, walked back, ate it, and headed over to the course. the nice thing about their system, i have to say, is that they at least let you walk the course before your test. you're also given a map of the course, so you should be at least able to remember in part where you're going and what challenges are up ahead. i walked it twice, and after being thoroughly soaked in sweat from humidity and dragging my overnight bag around with me, i finally decide to sit in the waiting room and await my test time.
finally, i'm up, and i'm the first one to go in my car. usually, they let the next person sit in back when it's your turn so they get a feel for what the course looks like. mind you, there's 3 foreingers that day taking the test, and i'm the only one taking it for the first time, and yet, they STILL make me go first.
i thought everything was going well... that is, until i ran over a curb. you know, i really can't remember ever running over a curb, except maybe the first few times i parked or parallel parked, but definitely never as i was turning onto the road. it was just after getting through the S-curve, and of all things, i had to run over the curb coming OUT of it. not getting IN, not DURING, but coming OUT. arrrgh. i got through the Crank fine too (granted i had to back up, but it was better than running over the curb again).
but here's the messed up part. the S curve was at the beginning of my test, and right after i ran over it, the proctor told me i failed. i know, because i understand japanese, that the proctors were giving all the japanese people taking the test for the first time that you need at least 70/100 points to pass your test. you're telling me that running that ONE curb cost me 30 points? that's such crap.
this is where my conspiracy theory comes in. the more times foreigners fail, the more everyone benefits (except the foreigner). people like me, who aren't from the mainland, and instead are waaay out on an island, are forced to stay an extra day, so there's at least 1 nights lodging. everyone in the DMV will ask you, "did you take a practice test? did you go to the driving school across the street and try to practice? it's hard to pass on the first try without practicing..." and each time you take the test, you have to pay for the test again (about $20). the more people taking the test, the more money the DMV gets, and the more job security all the proctors are given. makes me sick.
anyway, day 1: failure. to cheer myself up, i explore the area, and stumble upon a Best Denki, kinda like a Best Buy. in the back, there's a big screen section, which faces a massage chair section. what else better do i have to do than score a free 15 minute full body massage from a $2,500 chair? =D
day 2: i spot a white girl, who i know instantly is a fellow JET. but from the ungodly hour that she arrived, i know she was a first timer. i eventually befriended her, and together, we vowed to not spend anymore vacation days on this bs.
turns out we were the only 2 foreigners taking the test that day. since we're only transferring our license and not learning to drive for the first time, we go before all the japanese people. the proctor who's testing us comes up to us, gives us some advice, and then we were off. he didn't signal who to go first, so i insisted that she go first.
in my opinion, she did a fantastic job. nothing major she could have been dinged for. then it was my turn. rather than tell her what she did wrong before my test, he tells us to switch, so i start my test as she waits in the backseat.
i go through my test, doing every anal thing i've been told to do, hit no curbs, and think to myself, i had to have passed. i MUST.
my test is finally over, and he starts to tell me what i did wrong. takes my sheet, and starts docking points all over the page. then he tells her what she did wrong. docks points all over the place. he adds up her points.... and she passes. then he adds up my points (mind you the jerk knocked off more points for me than her because my test was fresher in his mind).... and i passed! thank god i didn't have to stay there one more day.... i think i would have started to slaughter proctors.
anyway, we both graciously thank him a billion times, then walk back elated to the DMV building to obtain our licenses. after ensuring i had a spot on the last plane back to the island, we sat around waiting for them to call our names. by 3:30, i was an unproud holder of a japanese drivers license.
unproud you say? granted i worked my ass for it, but at the same time breaking all the driving logic i've ever known. my proctor on day 1 even said to me that i was "good at driving", as in staying on the road, not turning the car as i look over my shoulder, stopping appropriately and stuff.... but like i said before, this test isn't about skill. rather, it's about conforming to their dumb little "driving dance". if anyone actually drove the way you're supposed to during this test, i guarantee you, this country would see a lot more accidents caused by rearing-ending the person in front of you.
i now kinda understand the whole bad asian woman driver stereotype. if half the asian women out there drive like how japanese people are SUPPOSED to drive, then i too would fear for my life. no worries, i plan on promptly forgetting all the japanese driving habits i've picked up this week, and return to driving like a sane, logical driver.
it really isn't brain surgery, folks. anyway, i passed my test with a perfect score. but that was the easy part. by the time i'm done with this , it's 11:30, i'm starving, and i need to check in for my practical at 1:00.
so i walked down the street to a convenience store, bought some lunch, walked back, ate it, and headed over to the course. the nice thing about their system, i have to say, is that they at least let you walk the course before your test. you're also given a map of the course, so you should be at least able to remember in part where you're going and what challenges are up ahead. i walked it twice, and after being thoroughly soaked in sweat from humidity and dragging my overnight bag around with me, i finally decide to sit in the waiting room and await my test time.
finally, i'm up, and i'm the first one to go in my car. usually, they let the next person sit in back when it's your turn so they get a feel for what the course looks like. mind you, there's 3 foreingers that day taking the test, and i'm the only one taking it for the first time, and yet, they STILL make me go first.
i thought everything was going well... that is, until i ran over a curb. you know, i really can't remember ever running over a curb, except maybe the first few times i parked or parallel parked, but definitely never as i was turning onto the road. it was just after getting through the S-curve, and of all things, i had to run over the curb coming OUT of it. not getting IN, not DURING, but coming OUT. arrrgh. i got through the Crank fine too (granted i had to back up, but it was better than running over the curb again).
but here's the messed up part. the S curve was at the beginning of my test, and right after i ran over it, the proctor told me i failed. i know, because i understand japanese, that the proctors were giving all the japanese people taking the test for the first time that you need at least 70/100 points to pass your test. you're telling me that running that ONE curb cost me 30 points? that's such crap.
this is where my conspiracy theory comes in. the more times foreigners fail, the more everyone benefits (except the foreigner). people like me, who aren't from the mainland, and instead are waaay out on an island, are forced to stay an extra day, so there's at least 1 nights lodging. everyone in the DMV will ask you, "did you take a practice test? did you go to the driving school across the street and try to practice? it's hard to pass on the first try without practicing..." and each time you take the test, you have to pay for the test again (about $20). the more people taking the test, the more money the DMV gets, and the more job security all the proctors are given. makes me sick.
anyway, day 1: failure. to cheer myself up, i explore the area, and stumble upon a Best Denki, kinda like a Best Buy. in the back, there's a big screen section, which faces a massage chair section. what else better do i have to do than score a free 15 minute full body massage from a $2,500 chair? =D
day 2: i spot a white girl, who i know instantly is a fellow JET. but from the ungodly hour that she arrived, i know she was a first timer. i eventually befriended her, and together, we vowed to not spend anymore vacation days on this bs.
turns out we were the only 2 foreigners taking the test that day. since we're only transferring our license and not learning to drive for the first time, we go before all the japanese people. the proctor who's testing us comes up to us, gives us some advice, and then we were off. he didn't signal who to go first, so i insisted that she go first.
in my opinion, she did a fantastic job. nothing major she could have been dinged for. then it was my turn. rather than tell her what she did wrong before my test, he tells us to switch, so i start my test as she waits in the backseat.
i go through my test, doing every anal thing i've been told to do, hit no curbs, and think to myself, i had to have passed. i MUST.
my test is finally over, and he starts to tell me what i did wrong. takes my sheet, and starts docking points all over the page. then he tells her what she did wrong. docks points all over the place. he adds up her points.... and she passes. then he adds up my points (mind you the jerk knocked off more points for me than her because my test was fresher in his mind).... and i passed! thank god i didn't have to stay there one more day.... i think i would have started to slaughter proctors.
anyway, we both graciously thank him a billion times, then walk back elated to the DMV building to obtain our licenses. after ensuring i had a spot on the last plane back to the island, we sat around waiting for them to call our names. by 3:30, i was an unproud holder of a japanese drivers license.
unproud you say? granted i worked my ass for it, but at the same time breaking all the driving logic i've ever known. my proctor on day 1 even said to me that i was "good at driving", as in staying on the road, not turning the car as i look over my shoulder, stopping appropriately and stuff.... but like i said before, this test isn't about skill. rather, it's about conforming to their dumb little "driving dance". if anyone actually drove the way you're supposed to during this test, i guarantee you, this country would see a lot more accidents caused by rearing-ending the person in front of you.
i now kinda understand the whole bad asian woman driver stereotype. if half the asian women out there drive like how japanese people are SUPPOSED to drive, then i too would fear for my life. no worries, i plan on promptly forgetting all the japanese driving habits i've picked up this week, and return to driving like a sane, logical driver.
2 comments:
Oh and I thought that I had in bad, but when I took it in Tokyo there was like 30 gaijin transferring their license and only 5 passed...(I was lucky enough to pass it, because someone told me to go slowly in the turns, and even if you bump the curb, if you back up slowly, and then go...you still pass ;p) お疲れ様でした！
Hi Evelyn
You don't know me from a bar of soap, but I'm glad I found your blog!! It's wednesday and I have to get my Japanese drivers license on Monday. I have been frantically searching the net for any clues about what will be done to me. Thank you for your blog it really helps.
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