tragic discoveries

last week during my adult english conversation class, i found out something utterly shocking to me about japanese people. for a long time now, i've wondered why it is my kids always shy away when i ask them something, and why adults always seem to be at a loss for words to explain something to you. but more specifically, i discovered why it is that no one ever seems to express an opinion around here.

in the american education system, we spend many years from high school throughout college, to perfect an essay: how to write introductions, state your hypothesis, support it in your body, and wrap things up in your conclusion. i dont know about you, but for me, that was what i hated MOST about school. i loathed writing papers. but at any rate, learning to write those papers kinda inadvertently taught you how to defend yourself in conversations. you say something, people will challenge you, and you have to either defend what you say, or admit that maybe what you originally thought had some flaws. i dont know about you, but many of my first impressions of people are based off of how intelligently they can explain and support their opinions. i feel like that's how we judge educated people in general (or maybe that's just me...).

in other words, we learn to say opinions and explain why we think whatever. right?

well that's not how the japanese people roll. when i asked people why it is they can't seem to state their opinion, it's because.... they dont have an opinion. because they're never really taught to have an opinion. you know those hours and hours we spent on papers? not in japan! they learn that an essay has an intro, body, and conclusion, but they never really write papers, and they definitely dont have back-and-forth discussions like we do in the States.

when you think about it, their never really learning how to argue something explains why they never state a solid opinion. japanese people hate conflict. while i understand conflict is sometimes bad, as a human being with a functional brain, you gotta have opinions on SOME things, right? am i wrong to assume this?

for the last few weeks, i've been trying to teach my english class how to have a discussion: how to ask someone's opinion, how to respond to their opinions (agree/disagree), how to state your own opinion, and how discuss ideas in a non-confrontational manner. simple enough, right? i guess not, because i keep drawing blank stares and uncomfortable shifting. i finally understand why this is so difficult for them, and maybe i'm just asking the wrong questions, but i'm genuinely interested in what they have to say... if only they wouldn't give up trying to say it in english.

perhaps my approach is too radical for them. what's this? state my opinion? but that means disagreeing with someone else, and if i disagree, i'll look like an asshole... i really wonder if it's that extreme in their minds.

i think the reason why this bothers me so much is that if you want to truly be functional in a language, you have to be able to do more than just 1) talk about yourself and your hometown, and 2) ask about where someone else is from. if you want to develop real skills, i think discussing something is a vital tool you need. while it's interesting to learn that "wow, you're from an island in japan??", i think it's even more fascinating to ask a japanese, "what do you think about wearing uniforms to school?" or "what do you think about japanese baseball players in the major leagues?" or even "what do you think about Sailormoon?!"

we face this cultural and educational gap with the japanese, no question about it. so what can we do? encourage them to be like us? egg them on till they become opinionated? or just let things go and deal with the thought that hey, s/he probably thinks i'm a jerk because i come off so strong?

as the foreigner of my town, i'm supposed to not only spread my language, but my culture too. carrying on discussions is a part of my culture. i want to share it with japanese people, and yet i'm not seemingly getting through. to give up or not give up? that is the question....