a year later

After a year of being back, I have to admit that not much as has happened. I finally decided to stop stalling and finally apply to nursing school, as I've been thinking about since about sophomore year of college. So since January, I've been getting prereqs done, and since August, actually filling out apps and writing essays [till the end of time]. Between harassing about 20 different people to proofread 20 essays in 13 weeks, I'm finally over the biggest obstacles of writing and mailing applications, and all that's left is to cross my fingers and hope. It's probably good to note that I almost never write essays (because i loathe them), much less with this high frequency in such a condensed time period. So just finishing all these essays is a major, major milestone for me.

Looking back at my time in Tsushima, I'm realizing how much island life taught me about flexibility. I'm fine with air-drying clothes, sleeping on the floor, cold water at faucets, ignoring small bugs, being away from family for long stretches of time, using a sub-par shower.... the little things that used to be normal I now consider all luxuries, and I think it's important to keep believing how privileged my lifestyle is. The way i see it, the lower the standards I keep, the more I treat life like it's a gift, and there's nothing like being grateful for one to really appreciate life.

One of the many things that life in Japan drastically changed was my sugar tolerance. My whole life, i've been a sugar fiend. We're talking about, "keep pouring on the sugar... it's still not sweet enough." Now, 50% of the sweetness i used to be able to handle is super sweet to me. Which is great; Japan and its unsweet sugar has just staved off diabetes for another 5 years hahah.

Although my response a month ago would have been very different, from my vantage point right now, I'd say the best word to describe where I am in life is: happy. I really can't remember the last time i felt this happy. I've just finished applying to 8 very competitive, but excellent, nursing schools. In fact, I finished and submitted the last app on my birthday (this past Tuesday), and followed it up with a fantastic evening of fabulous food - always the best way to celebrate a memorable occasion. And, it was my *gulp* 25th birthday, so I'll have many good memories of that day for years and years to come.

I initially told myself that Japan was going to be my thinking time; my time to figure out what i wanted to do with my life. And when i came back, i realized that my goals hadn't really changed. in fact, i wanted more than ever to help people, and nursing definitely fits the bill as well as feeds off my strengths and interests. Even though i'm guaranteed nothing at this point, I feel so much better knowing that i've made that first major step towards going in the direction i want to be in. That in itself is worth celebrating. That combined with realizing how many wonderful people I surround myself with is making life oh so sweet. So yes, "happy" is definitely spot on :)

Do I miss Japan? Sure. Do I miss the people? Of course. Do i miss the lifestyle? Frequently. Would I want to be there right now instead of being in limbo between somewhere and nowhere in life? Most definitely not. Even with all the uncertainties in the air, life is great, and I wouldn't trade this state of limbo for anything in the world =)